John said he wanted to come with us on vacation.
I wasn't sure how I felt about it, given the fact that we've been separated for the last few months, but didn't feel it was my place to refuse, since he was paying for half of it.
So he came along. We drove down separately, but slept in the same (King-sized) bed because there was really no other way around it given the number and combination of kids we had with us.
We arrived on Sunday afternoon. On Tuesday, I got ready to go to the grocery store.
He never offered to go with me or go instead of me.
Whatever.
When I got back, I started putting the groceries away, while he sat 10 feet away from me in a recliner reading a book. Then I thought to myself, wait, this is MY vacation too. I just spent my time shopping, now I should get to relax while he does a little work.
So I said to him (nicely, not a smidge of attitude, I promise), "How about if you put the groceries away since I did the shopping. Fair enough?"
He got up and walked towards the kitchen, as I held my breath, wondering how he would take this request since I had chosen to just say it straight without sugar-coating or ego-stroking.
And then he started. Voice raised: "Why should I have to put them away? You act like I have no contribution here. I PAID for the groceries, that's MY contribution!"
I looked at him for a moment with a half smile on my face, hoping that perhaps he was joking and he would break the act and we would both join in a laugh together.
Waiting...
Waiting....
Smile fading....
"Are you serious...?"
"Yes. I'm tired of you implying that I don't help!"
"But... I just asked you.... to help put the groceries away. I wasn't implying anything."
"Oh yes you were."
It went on for a bit longer, of course.
He left the next morning. Four days early, out of a week.
So nice of him to come along to sped some quality time with the kids.
It's my fault, of course.
It's what I get for not thinking how best to phrase things before asking for help.
