Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Sharing is Healing

A few years ago I was lonelier than I've ever been.  Very unhappy.  My husband was beginning to pull away.  Or at least, that's when I started taking notice of him pulling away.  Back then, I felt like if I talked to others about how I was feeling, I was betraying him.  So I kept it all bottled up inside like a good Stepford Wife.  All the loneliness, sadness, disappointment, anger.

I cried a lot.

Strangely enough, now that things have gone from bad to worse between my husband and I, and we are separated, I feel better than ever.  I'm not crying.  I feel strong.  I feel well.

I credit this new strength to the power of sharing.

I started with my sisters, who are my best friends.  I began opening up to them about what I was going through.  Cautiously at first, always justifying and reminding them of all of John's good qualities.  But after time I grew bolder and stopped sugarcoating.  Called him a bastard once in a while. 

It felt good.

Soon enough I started opening up with friends.  An aunt.

Then along came a therapist.

Before you could say asshat, I had a large network of women counseling, advising, listening, commiserating, hugging.

I began to feel whole again.  I began to feel worthy, and valuable.

And NOT alone.

Never again alone.







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2 comments:

  1. Good luck with your journey and healing. I like the idea of an anonymous blog - the one's our families and friends read don't feel right for the negative parts of our life. While I find my blog a good place help me to stay focused and positive - I could see writing something like this blog in my journey working to understand another's depression.

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    1. You should give it a try, Chuck. It can be very liberating. I'm only just beginning to explore what this can do for me and already I've found it helpful. Thanks for stopping in, and good luck to you....

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